All the world's a stage

 Good morning 



My mate picked me up and drove us to Bournemouth to see another mate's new gaff. All of us Park View survivors. We did a little pub crawl and really nice Chinese followed by an hour in a karaoke booth and then off to a casino. I didn't place any bets... and I think annoyed the croupier, because I was asking about the display thing and then exclaiming that it was all chance though, wasn't it. An extremely late night for me and a terrible night's sleep, booze does not help with that. But lots of fun. The next day we took a beautiful stroll through Bournemouth, along the beach and to a cafe called Flirt where D treated us both to a well needed breakfast. It was a glorious morning with the sun shining, we still needed our coats but it was great to have the sun on our faces. And then D drove us back to London. He has a LEXUS and it is very fancy indeed. He feels rather sad that he feels he should sell it because of Elon. I suggested that instead, he gets some stickers made that say, "I bought this before I knew he was a Nazi."

Once home I simply snuggled under my heated blanket and let my family take care of me, A made dinner and we all mooched about. I found it hard to get motivated on Monday morning, the knot of anxiety firmly making itself known in my gut, somersaulting from time to time. But after a face call with my mum and a few messages to friends to remind me that I have an amazing network of love and care I did finally get dressed and looked at a few jobs online. One for a job at the national theatre. No chance of getting it - but still it initially looked like something I'd enjoy. Because I have wonderful people around me my relatively quiet week was one where I had a lovely meze out and cups of tea and BigA and I had lunch with Debbie - a really nice curry at the place just a stones throw from her flat. On Wednesday the girls decided to do a Galentines evening to which I was invited. Soppy film, strawberries and chocolate and a bottle of prosecco while we began a mammoth jigsaw they bought. 2000 pieces. Oh and as I lay on my sofa, snuggled under my blanket with more tea -watching a quite violent film (I'm sure I've watched it before but I'm of an age now where I forget) I got a gift through the post. I thought at first I'd been sent a pack of seeds. Which would have been lovely, but it was in fact a pair of beautiful earrings, the colour I wanted and didn't get at Christmas. Thank you. I am just smothered in love and hope. 

A highlight of the week - new carpet for the stairs and upstairs landing. Now we need to plan what to put on the walls, I would love loads of pictures that A has painted or drawn. Lots of wall space to fill. The new carpet looks good, and feels so warm and comfy. BigA has given himself some DIY projects and one of them is a handmade coat rack for the hall - we almost thought of putting it in his office/indoor shed, but actually the hooks he's found are really lovely and will make something of a feature as you come in. Another highlight was breakfast in bed for Valentines and a beautiful card made by my wonderful husband. He also took me out for a surprise evening - theatre and a meal. E has a really lovely evening. 24 years since our first date. 

A set off on her school art trip to Berlin on Thursday, I miss having her here - going to have to get used to that. She was delighted that it was snowing there when she arrived, and despite her chatty roommates she seems to be enjoying it lots. 

And so it's half term - odd knowing that. And I am none the wiser on a decision from work but I am starting to feel quite angry about this delay. How can I move on with life while I'm left in this limbo. There seem to be complications on a decision around a 'deal' but all in all it should be so simple - let me go. It's making it frustrating to try and find a job for next term. I'm applying for a whole weird and wonderful range of things outside of education but if I can just have a clear reference I could apply for something in a school - just to keep active and feeling useful. 

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