Full of cold

 There is something forever comforting about being at my childhood home, the familiar gurgle of the boiler next to my bedroom, and the water system rumbling to life as the house warms. The sound of gulls and wind and the noise Hilman's collar makes as he shakes off, as is his habit, when they come in from their walk. And of course the endless supply of mummy cuddles, that I have taken in abundance during my weekend visit.

For lunch, my big sister had booked in an afternoon tea, one of my Christmas presents - a deliciously savoury one at a cafe on Bells Road. It was warm and cosy, pots of tea and a genuinely delightful plate of all things cheese and meat, with a few vegetable based bits to balance it out. It was good to catch up on proper news and laugh about memories and other stories since we'd last seen each other. It took my mind mostly off my troubles and was such a good reminder that we Ds are made of tough stuff. Not that she's been a D in name for some time. Home to read a book with the noisy birds that roost in the bay tree out the front and then over to Jo's for wine and more love and laughs. 

I went with mum and Jo to mass on Sunday, getting out of the house, I value the reflection that time gives you, no way to get on your phone and the familiarity of the rituals all helpful to remind myself that 'this too shall pass.' As a girl and young woman I have stood in that pew through some horrendous low points in life and some of life's great joys. And that's what life is, isn't is, a journey through all of that. How lucky I am to have love, care and support there for it. Although the church was bloody freezing and I couldn't feel my toes by the end of the final hymn.

I continue to remind myself of the benefits of my less than happy situation - I got to go to Zumba with my mum on Monday morning. It was loads of fun, more energy spent than I realised and I wasn't quite as malcoordinated as I predicted. I thought the weights were very light when I first picked them up but after having to fling them about while dancing I could very much feel the burn. 

I took a slight detour into Norwich on the way home to have a short but fun catch up with my unrequited love from high school. Craig and I have known each other since we were 11 and I adored him for at least 5 of those early years. Time has of course taken us on totally different paths but then, as it does, we found ourselves on a bench outside the crown court where he now works, me sipping tea and him coffee and fag in hand. 8 years since we saw each other last and we just laughed and told of our sorrows and successes. I'm always surprised by how short he is, I remember him being very tall. He isn't. His lunch break was a strict hour and so off I went, back to London and home to make dinner and wait for my actually tall husband and the love of my family. But my day was not yet done, I had, in the spirit of 'there's more to life' attitude, signed up to a choir taster session. BigA drove me, us wanting a little time just the two of us, and up I went to a very cold room and did an hour and 30 minutes of learning brand new songs, singing in 4 part harmonies and rounds and all while standing up with no sheet music. I loved it, and have now signed up for the term. I suppose I had lost my voice a little upon my return from Malawi, and I think it's reflecting on my enjoyment of music and the gap Daren has created that I am trying to make space for it again. 

Speaking of Daren, on Tuesday after a slow start A (the girls are on study leave and M had an exam) and I set off to North Greenwich to meet with his girlfriend, Jay. We had a nice afternoon, eating, chatting, some tears and then a bit of shopping. Home for homemade pizza, BigA trying out a new way of doing it, TV and bed. 

I had a meeting online this week about potential volunteering in prisons, I'm going to visit Wormwood Scrubs in February to see what the set up is like.  

Us girls have a had colds at the moment, short lived ones but still a bit grotty. 

I ended the week by doing a short volunteering session with a charity called The Difference - on line and it was good to flex my brain muscles.