countdown

 A and I had agreed the night before, after a good wardrobe clear out, to head to the nearest charity shop first thing and up we got, got on with the day and off we went. I bought 2 more jigsaws and 2 egg cups while there. We treated ourselves to pastries from the corner shop and then she went to work. BigA was at frisbee and M was still with her dad. I sat in anticipation of my visitor. M, the student who self described as 'a little shit at school'. He came over for a cuppa. He bought flowers and kindness, he essentially looks the same,  but with a beard and tattoos. He said I looked the same too. We reminisced and he remembers things I dragged from my memory. Lots of names of students flying around and finding out who is doing well. And happily he is, he seems happy and content. Although I don't quite see it, he gives me credit for much of this. Even though he was ,'managed moved' when in yr 10. We headed to The Hub, where A was working and we had more laughs, it was genuinely lovely to see him and I'm now invited to the whole wedding. It was such a tonic to my soul. And no matter what I achieve in the future nothing can take away this achievement. 

That evening M and her dad came back from the weekend away and his mum's funeral. A sudden death over the Christmas break. We had a very pleasant evening and I allowed myself a few glasses of wine. I've been doing very well not drinking, I'm not sleeping well as it is, so makes sense not to make it worse. This meant I was not up to doing much on Sunday, very much a plod about day. 

The girls were still on study leave this week - M with more exams than A, although with A's extra time they have probably done similar hours. It has meant company for the week and the opportunity to do some nice things together. Including getting A's hair cut in an actual hairdresser. I think the last time that happened she was in her primary school uniform. New jigsaw started and finished too. As they were both in exams on Monday and the sun shone for a few hours I got out in the garden and did a compost heap sort out. I follow a gardener on Instagram who recommended putting a pole with holes in it in the middle. So I set to that task, did a little weeding and tidy up. A satisfying clean out of the garden cupboards meant I could put more pots out of sight. Choir and badminton again too. We also had a few brunches - one to celebrate mocks being over. BigA and I went for a lovely meal with D and D on Thursday, excellent and good value Ethiopian food. 

In my job hunting this week I have had a range of rejection emails, some from jobs I'd forgotten I'd even applied for. I had a chat with a Warden, the name given to the Headteacher at a private school. I didn't warm to him, he seemed to be doubtful that anyone could fully understand how hard the job would be. I might apply... I'm not sure but probably not, not really my type of school. I had an online meeting with a team of people for a global school group. This is quite a different recruitment approach to what I'm used to. Again, unsure of this but it's keeping me busy. Well a bit

Also lots of emails about my work situation, my union rep is working very hard on this. As you can imagine it makes for a fairly high level of anxiety, my mind full of it most of the time. There is a lot he's been doing and if common sense prevails then I hope that by next week I can email with happy news. My confidence in this outcome is almost gone, I can honestly say this has been really hard. I have taken comfort in the belief of those who know me.