The Cured

Double tyre replacement on Saturday... Fun. One slow puncture and one just a bit old. On Sunday I headed off to Essex for my one and only rehearsal with The Cured, ready for Friday. It went well, not my normal vocal range but it wasn't about that, they seemed happy. I cried a fair amount on the way there and on the way back. My thoughts of how much I miss Daren, how I would have loved to have been there with him, singing and making music. I doubt I'll ever stop feeling sad that we can't play and perform again. The 'working' week started with a lazy faff about and an attempt to learn the lines and not a lot more, other than a fun old trip to Aldi.  

I did get dressed in work entire on Tuesday when I accompanied BigA to one of his European sessions. I was so very proud to see him in his element. An excellent delivery that showed his passion, knowledge and expertise. The first year Law students took lots in, as did I. The session was packed full and I learnt a lot too. It confirmed that it was so wrong and silly to leave. To have lost our voice in the decisions our closest neighbours make. To no longer have any real influence on so many things that impact us. I'm still cross that the lies that were told were believed by 52%. Surely not enough. He did a fantastic job of not actually showing any of his political sensibilities. All very neutral. But I did feel sad when one of them said she felt it was wrong that this voice was made without her, when it affected her so much. Before we'd set off I made, as requested, a lasagna for tea. M and A were very appreciative but later BigA confirmed my thought, it was very average. They then did a final get ready for their trip to Poland and packed lots of snacks. I'm sure they won't need that much but they had been warned it would be very cold. 

Wonderful BigA set his alarm (actually very loud with Alexa saying 'get up') and took them off to school to get them there ready to leave at 5am. I do not envy the staff. A and M sent blow by blow updates and frustrating for them they were diverted to a different airport because of weather and had much longer on coaches as a result and a late visit to their first museum. I, having been able to get back to sleep, was happy to meet up for a nice cup of tea with my pal J, she is living such an interesting life and someone who has very much survived troubles, some school related in the past. I have huge respect for her and it was lovely to hear how well she's doing. 

A little bit of shopping and then home to stay warm (I can't bring myself to put the heating on for just me) and then out again for an evening with friends and BigA. This is certainly a nice bit of not having to worry about what time I get up in the morning. 

Then the next day BigA and I set about our day of full on DIY - we think we've chosen the colour for the bottom of the hall. So curtains are in place, paint on and things starting to look like they could be finished. I also made a veggie shepherds pie for us and Edgar. 

Then yesterday - I've had mixed feelings about since I suggested it. Daren's tribute night. The girls came back from Poland and I fed them and then I headed off. I went to Jays first, spent a bit of time with her and her children then we got ready for the gig. 

I sang:

Forest, Lullaby and A night like this. I did try to learn the words but I was nervous and didn't want to mess up with the fans of the real Cure. I'd got the words printed Clement see them on the stand and had to hold them out. I still did miss some bits. I felt very strange, a mix of feelings and emotions. A day remembering him. 

It was very hard at first, pictures and songs and my own voice being played along with Daren's voice being played. I've song was at his funeral. I thought about running out a couple of times. But I managed to stay. And then I drove home, to my warm house and the warm arms of my wonderful husband.